Thursday, March 22, 2012

Time After Time


The Second Years from left to right: Vanitha, Libya, Lintu, Joshmi, Me, Leena, Deepa, Merlin, Jincy and Tincy. 

I am sitting here crying, trying to pull it together for prayer. This is the Second year TTC students’ last full day at the hostel. They leave tomorrow morning after a candle light ceremony and breakfast. We have spent this last day together well. I’d like to share some of it with you.

First you have to know that Mariamma Kochamma has a phone that plays the radio. She plays it at all times. This morning a song came on the radio at breakfast that made us all sing along. It was the song Onaveyil. I remembered watching the Second years teaching the children’s hostel how to dance to this song. The children performed their dance at our boarding Christmas program. Across the table, plates and tea, the Second years acted out the dance. It made me really happy to see them dance sitting down.

We then moved to prayer. Each day during exams the Second year girls have been going to our hostel morning prayer and an additional prayer service that they have organized at the school’s chapel. For the last three mornings I have joined them. They sing a song, read a verse from the bible, pray for quite some time, then sit in the pews for a final bible reading. Today instead of doing a bible reading in the pews, we sat in silence facing the front. Suddenly all of the girl counted off “1-2-3-start”

“Happy Birthday to you…” was sung to Leena in the pews. Today was her birthday. Leena is the only girl in the hostel who is almost my exact age. Actually she is a month older than me. Today she turned 23. As we all faced the front and she listened to her best friends sing her a final happy birthday song, she started to cry. So did many of the other girls. It marked the mood for the day, both joyful and sad.

I worked on a few projects as the girls packed their bags. Many also went to the nearby town of Chingavanam to buy goodies. One of my projects today was for a girl who is also leaving the hostel for good, Aleena. Aleena speaks English very well and asked me to write her a story with illustrations and a princess. Those were her demands, so last night I took off writing. Before I knew it I had written 7 pages…then 9 pages…. then 15 pages….and by the end of it I had completed a 20 page story (handwritten) with illustrations. It is a story within a story actually, and I am pretty proud of it. The title of it is “Camels and Kings: the Ragtime Adventures”. The title is a work in progress. haha. Maybe someday I will post it on here if you guys are interested in reading it.

(This next part is written after evening prayer)

 The rest of the day I wrote little notes on bookmarks that I was going to give the Second year girls at evening prayer. I also gave them special gifts. They were just little novelty crystal models for 25 rupees a piece….maybe the best way I have ever spent my money. The girls also donated a spanking new tablecloth to the study lounge. It was a good way to contribute to beautifying our hostel.

After tea and during evening prayer we had a huge filming session. We filmed songs, dramatic and adorable walking scenes, scenery shots, and ten minutes of our evening prayer time session. Tonight we are going to put together a nostalgic video by editing all the minutes (maybe hours) of footage. I also drank two cups of coffee today so I’m not sure if I’ll be sleeping at all tonight.

Now I am not trying to hold my tears back. At prayer they flowed freely. I feel comfortable being sad with these girls. They know they are the first and best friends I have made here in Kerala. They know how hard it is going to be to come back next year and not see them. I went to Leena, Jincy and Libya’s room after prayer and Jincy said “Chechi, we are praying that your days will go fast after this.” “Why?” I asked. “Because we know you will miss us so much.” Hahaha. They are not shy about how much I love them, and I am not shy about showing it.

I told them I am at the point where I don’t want my days to go by quickly. I want them to go by not too fast, not too slow, but just right. That is my nature though. A perfectionist to the core, attempting to control the speed of time. All I can say is, I am glad that I have spent my time wisely during this half of my year.  I am glad to have made deep friendships and strong memories. I am so thankful to God for the gift of time, even though I try and control it. I am pretty sure God giggles up in heaven when I think I can even make time move to my liking. I pray that these young women continue to be blessed as time passes by. I pray that God will hold them fast.

"If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting, time after time."-Cyndi Lauper

(this is a cheesy post with a lot of crying, so I figured a fittingly cheesy 80s song would do the trick)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Gift of Surprise


Wednesday morning began with a special visit from my student Aparna and her mother. They have been calling my phone a lot recently because Aparna has been ill for the past two weeks. They visited to give me a bag of perikya fruit. I gave them a tour of my room and set a day for me to come visit their house. It was a really special morning surprise!

During breakfast, Mariamma Kochamma also had a surprise for me. Since I had no plans for the day, she decided that I would visit her house with her. I agreed, but I didn't quite understand the timing of when she wanted to leave. She rushed me to get ready after breakfast which resulted in some irritation. I thought she had told me we would leave in an hour! So I left for this adventure feeling a little perturbed, wondering if I was really going to enjoy the visit when I had gotten a little stressed about the speed of our departure.

The bus ride calmed me down. Feeling the air come in at me from all sides and seeing familiar towns and shops pass by helped me find my bearings. A place that was once so unfamiliar to me is now like a second home. That's a pretty cool feeling. When we arrived at Kochamma's house we were greeted by her son Santhosh and her new daughter-in-law Sunaina (Suni for short).
Suni, Kochamma, and Santhosh

Suni and I chatted a lot and watched Hindi serials in the front room. They are on par with American soap operas in their cheesy camera work and dramatic plot twists. Suni was educated in Bangalore and is now taking classes to become a medical scribe. She is in a really good scribe program, but she had to put her studies on hold to adjust to life with her new husband. Suni also has a daughter named Achoo whose father passed away. I am not sure of all the details, but I know that they seem like a very happy and loving family. Suni's energy and wit really ties them all together. She can even cheer up the sometimes grumpy Mariamma Kochamma.

Kochamma and Suni started chopping veggies for lunch. They put together a special vegetarian meal for me because for Lent I have stopped consuming meat and unnatural forms of sugar. We then moved into the kitchen so that Kochamma could make her famous ginger curry. As she cooked she taught me and Suni what ingredients she used and when. It is the first time I have had a cooking lesson in India that allowed for me to pause and go....okay so what is that spice called in English again? haha. Let's see if I can tell you the gist of the recipe for all you cooking fans out there.

Mariamma's Ginger Curry
  • Mustard Seed
  • Chopped Ginger
  • Curry Leaves
  • Finely chopped onions
  • Garlic
  • 1 tbs Cumin
  • 5 tbs Chili Powder
  • Oil (any healthy variety you have available) 
  • Water
  • Salt
-Heat the mustard seeds in oil and allow them to open up.
-Add ginger and sear for some time until it becomes brown 
-Add curry leaves, onions, garlic. Let the onions soften
-Add dry spices (salt, cumin, chili powder) 
-Add water as needed. Bring it to a low boil. Cook until the mixture has thickened.

nifty striped orchids
That's what I observed! Super proud that I didn't write it down but remember the ingredients still! We passed the time laughing a lot and sharing an excellent meal with ginger curry, cucumber curry, and toran (aka salad) of green beans.  

I took photos as Kochamma gave me a tour of her flowers and garden. She let me pick some of her really cool looking orchids. The petals look like they have tiger stripes on them! Achoo arrived back at the house from her playschool class at 3 o clock. She is 2 and a half and after she got used to me being a weird white lady, she fell in love with me. I should really say that we fell in love with each other. 

We shared enthusiasm for the simple things, like throwing hair clips across the room and going to get them, running and pretending like we are going to fall, shoving delicious mango, perikya and cherries into our mouths, and feeding the love birds that are caged at the house. We laughed a ton. Her laugh was so adorable and infectious that even I got sad when the time to go rolled around. 

I finally got her to look straight at the camera :)


We said our goodbyes and planned another outing sometime soon. Suni said they had two bikes and she would be willing to loan me one so that me, her, and Achoo could go to a nearby park. I am so thankful that I found her as a friend. Did I mention she has almost fluent English? That was another pleasant surprise of the day.

It was a great day trip that reminded me to always embrace surprise. You never know where it may lead you. In the case of this surprise, I also gained a key insight into the life of the mysterious, strict, and serious woman that is Mariamma Kochamma. It was good to see her joking and smiling. She is not returning to the hostel next year because she is needed at home. 

After seeing her in her natural habitat, I am so thankful that God has given her and her son the opportunity to be so happy. I am also so glad to know this side of her life and her story. It has given me some closure and a bit of a change of heart now that I understand where she is coming from and more about who she is deep down. 

"We can wait for circumstances to make up their minds, or we can decide to act, and in acting, live." - Omar Bradley






Thursday, March 8, 2012

International Women's Day

The school year here at Buchanan officially ends on March 30th. Most of the younger students that make up the "Children's hostel" in B.I. Boarding have now narrowed their exams down to only two....so today was the day that many of them decided to go home and commute for those two exams that take place around the 27th of this month. 

My favorite best friends duo
This morning I woke up and started making cards for the girls. As I crammed all of the things I wanted to say inside decorated paper hearts, it amazed me how much I had to say to them.

They taught me to play, laugh, and enjoy the little things in life here in Kerala. Some of the younger girls are also not returning next year, so I will most likely only see them around on campus. Specifically the "best friends" duo of Athira and Reshmi are not returning.

I will miss Reshmi throwing sticks up into the mango tree to see if she can get one to fall. I will miss cracking up with Athira for no reason. I will miss singing songs with Reshmi while we do everyday tasks. I will miss hearing Athira try to sing along
from left to right: Anu, Athira, Reshmi, Shilpa, Shemi
Kunya, Vava and Anu
Today I also watched Shilpa, Shemi, Jincy, Remya, Vava, Kunya, Anju and Anu leave the building. Anu, Kunya and Vava are sisters and favorites of the older girls. They lingered for a long time giving kisses, receiving kisses, and shedding a few tears. They are saying goodbye for good to the Second Year TTC students. There are endless things that I will miss about these girls, but luckily I will see them again in June. It is difficult to imagine two months of my life in which Jincy's questions, Shemi's insistence in calling me "Miss", and time spent washing clothes with Kunya and Vava are absent. I think all of us are feeling this strange new hole in our existence at B.I. Boarding in different ways. 
an example of a sad face

The faces tonight at prayer were all solemn and resolved. The fact that school is ending is now clear and palpable. I am always a person who has been bad with things that are ending. I usually ignore it and get sad later. That's what I did with the end of college. I don't think I realized how much I will miss that place until I started my YAV year. 

Here, things are different. I am taking this leaving thing hard because this is my family. I am so emotionally attached to them because they have guided me and loved me through the first part of my year here. I don't want them to leave. I have that "What will I do without them?" narrative going on in my head. 

I realized today that I am blessed to feel this strongly for my hostel girls, but I also am being a bit selfish. They are getting to visit their families. They are going to spend quality time with their parents, siblings and neighbors. The summer is a chance for them to go back to their places and feel grounded again. I am excited for them and so happy that they get to go back early.

So, today I spent International Women's Day surrounded by the beautiful smiles, hugs and kisses of the girls who assure me each day that God is here, working through us daily. I think that is the most honest way I have ever spent this day in my whole life. 
"God sent children for another purpose than merely to keep up the race--to enlarge our hearts; and to make us unselfish and full of kindly sympathies and affections; to give our souls higher aims; to call out all our faculties to extend enterprise and exertion; and to bring round our fireside bright faces, happy smiles, and loving, tender hearts." - Mary Botham Howitt taken from The Treasury of Women's Quotations

Jincy and me :)



Saturday, March 3, 2012

Share the Well

Sharing is something we are all taught at a young age. We share our crayons, share our toys, and as we grow, we share our knowledge. People in Kerala are amazingly good at sharing both their things and their thoughts.

I literally just got finished eating rice off of the floor of one of the Second Year TTC students' room. Let me explain, because that may sound really weird to you. Merlin's father came to visit today and he brought her a ton of amazing food: Rice, chutney, toran (cabbage salad), two kinds of pickle, and some other things. The spirit of sharing in the hostel is so pervasive that Merlin didn't even have to think about it. Of course she was going to share the food with all of us.

When food is packed up "to go" style in Kerala, it will be one of two ways almost every time. One way is to pack it in a metal tiffin box, which is very secure and provides a good solid way to separate out all of the components of a traditional meal. The second way is to flatten out and clean a banana leaf, place the entire meal on to the leaf, fold the leaf around the meal and then wrap the leaf in newspaper. It sounds strange, but it works really really well. 

Merlin's father utilized the banana leaf option to wrap up all of the goodies. This is not the first time I have joined the girls in feasting on homemade dishes. In fact, this opportunity presents itself at least once a month and I always get excited for it. 

Mainly I enjoy this time because there is something about sitting and eating mountains of rice on a crowded concrete floor that also leads to sharing stories, laughs and ideas. One of the first times I shared food this way with the girls, they asked me to tell a ghost story. We have also shared our feelings on arranged marriage versus love marriage, the challenges of teaching, and other serious topics of discussion while gathering around a banana leaf. 

So tonight when Merlin looked at me and said "Chechi, will you remember this?" my mind went racing through all of the wonderful ways this community has shared with me this year. We have shared our innermost selves with each other, despite the language barrier, despite how busy we all are, and despite our struggles. Recently we have all been sharing in the struggle to preserve the very scarce supply of water we have. It seems that all of those challenges have only united us more.  

I responded with my whole heart, "Merlin, I will. Always." 

By sharing these little gifts with each other, we have widened the well of our knowledge, love, and mutual respect. I found myself walking away from this meal humming a Caedmon's Call song that applies perfectly to this situation of sharing abundantly, even when we are sharing moments of difficulty and scarcity.
Merlin trying to pick Joshmi up
All God's creatures share the water hole 
The blessed day the monsoon comes 
And in His image we are woven 
Every likeness every one 
From Kashmir to Kerala 
Under every banyan tree 
Mothers for their children cry 
With empty jar and bended knee 

Share the well, share with your brother 
Share the well my friend 
It takes a deeper well to love one another 
Share the well my friend 
-from "Share the Well" by Caedmon's Call